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Community Corner

'Cancer of the Mind': Suicide Is Not Painless to Survivors of Family Tragedy

To honor her father and raise awareness, La mesa's Lisa Holcomb is prepping for annual Save a Life Walk.

Gordon Bear committed suicide just months after celebrating his 61st birthday. A psychotherapist social worker, Bear left a brief note for his wife of 37 years and each of his three children.

“The first year was horrific,” daughter Lisa Holcomb said of that fateful Thursday in August 2002. “A lot of it was understanding what my dad possibly went through.”

Bear suffered from bipolar disorder and depression most of his life.  He was active in his career, and also in his Christian faith, which left 11-year La Mesa resident Holcomb less angry than confounded by his final decision. It was only through counseling that she began to understand her father’s suffering.

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“You can’t tell someone who has cancer in their body to just get over it; they need medication,” said Holcomb, 43. “This is a cancer of the mind.”

To help cope with the loss and provide support to others, Holcomb and her mother, Bonnie, became active in Survivors of Suicide Loss, serving as administrative assistant and executive director respectively. Ironically, it’s the same organization for which Bear served on the board.

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On Sunday, Nov. 13, SOSL will host its third annual Save a Life Walk at Balboa Park, which works to raise money to provide comfort and the necessary resources for survivors. 

“It makes me teary-eyed and emotional … just knowing that we’re not alone,”  Holcomb said of the event.

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