Keeping Tabs on Your Teen's Life Online

Does your child have a cell phone; use Facebook, Instagram, ask.fm, Vine or Snapchat?  Do you know what all of those things are? If not, get to Googling because the cyber world is filled with potential hazards. All of our kids have attended assemblies that warn them of online debauchery, child predators, privacy concerns and bullying; they’ve heard it all. But have you discussed the responsibilities of being online with your child? Do they know where you stand, what your rules are? Do you have rules?

We all like to think that our child would never participate in some of the online activities we hear about- sexting, bullying, impersonation, but according to the National Crime Prevention Center, only 15% of parents are “in the know” about their kids’ social networking habits

• 58% of 4th through 8th graders reported having mean or cruel things said

to them online

• 53% said that they have said mean or hurtful things to others while online

• 42% of those studied said that they had been “bullied online”, but almost 60% have never told their parents about the incident.

• Girls are twice as likely to be victims AND perpetrators of bullying

YIKES! Get your child talking. Ask her what her experience is with these topics:

Does she know anyone who has been a bullied online?

Has she or any of her friends ever received an inappropriate text?

What would she do if she did?

Most likely, this is not a conversation your son or daughter will want to have, but just knowing that you are aware of what is going on in their world will make them feel more comfortable coming to you if something ever happens and, conversely, make them think twice before doing something they’ll regret.

 A few words of wisdom you may want to include in this chat:

• Anything put online or sent to their friends on their cell phones isn’t private and whatever gets created never goes away. A lot can happen before the “delete” button gets pressed

• Everything is searchable, and anonymity online is a myth

• Text messaging shouldn’t take the place of one-on-one interaction. If a difficult conversation needs to happen with a friend, do it face-to-face

• Review privacy settings. Your child’s Facebook account doesn’t need to be an open book. Make sure settings are set to “Friends only”

• Insist that your child “friend” you on Facebook and that you have their passwords

While kids have been told about the dangers and negative outcomes of posting, tweeting and texting, at this age, they just aren’t wired to think about consequences. They post without thinking about who might see it, or how it could be interpreted.

The first step to keeping your child safe on the Internet is to find out what they’re doing online and make sure they’re behaving respectfully and responsibly. Talk to them about what’s appropriate to say to others, what kind of content is okay to upload and download, and what kinds of interactions are important to avoid.  Our kids are creating a digital footprint that can last a long time in cyberspace. Things they post can be forwarded by others and viewed by vast anonymous audiences. If you teach them to self-reflect before they self-reveal, their online experiences are more likely to be safe.