How to Help Your Kids Deal with Back-to-School Stress

Is your school year off to a good start? Are the kids smiling? They love all their teachers, right? Not too much homework, and volleyball tryouts were a breeze.  That would be nice, huh? But back in reality, back–to-school is stress city!

Your daughter didn’t get the teachers that she wanted, none of her friends are in her classes and algebra is too hard!  What’s a mom to do? First, breathe.

While from your adult perspective, all of the” traumas” mentioned above may seem minor, they aren’t to a kid. Forty-four percent of kids have physical symptoms brought on by stress and 75% say school is their greatest stressor.

The worst thing you can do is tell your kids to, “Get over it” or “It’s no big deal.” Instead, empathize with your child and just listen. More often than not, they don’t want your advice; they just want to be heard.

Our kids have a lot going on. Facebook, Twitter and text messaging keep them in the loop 24/7. There are people talking at them from all angles. The best gift you can give them is support. We can’t make the stresses of their life disappear, but here are a few tips for Back to School success so both you, and your child have a smooth transition.

#1 Don’t overbook

Yes it’s been said before, but never enough. Being a cheerleader carrying a full load of AP classes who volunteers on the weekends and works part-time at the mall does not a college acceptance guarantee make. It’s a recipe for disaster. I’m not suggesting your kids shouldn’t be involved in activities.

All of the opportunities mentioned above are great, but not at the same time.  Kids need downtime for their emotional well-being and sleep. Preferably nine to 10 hours a day. In this time of uber achievement, it can be hard to keep commitments from getting out of control, but do it.

Your son will still be a well-educated, productive member of society, even if he skips Lacrosse this year because he’s more passionate about his guitar. Guide your kids, but let them explore different opportunities, even if it isn’t something you might choose. And remember, a weekend without a practice schedule never hurt anybody.

#2 Don’t Try and Solve Everything

It’s crucial that kids learn to clean up their own messes. If your daughter left a book at home, it’s not your responsibility to shuttle it to school and save her. When you hear that the reason for the D on homework is because the teacher “hates me,” don’t call for parent meeting.

Let her work it out on her own. If our kids go through school thinking we will there to fix everything, what will happen when they have to take care of themselves? Offer guidance, but you don’t have to be the solution.

#3  Turn it Off

The typical student consumes multiple forms of media while doing homework. Don’t be fooled; our kids are not multi-tasking experts; they just constantly, rapidly divide their attention. Being off of Facebook for a few hours won’t put them into social purgatory, but it could improve their grades.

Set limits for your kids for the TV and the computer. Monitoring their social media usage is also a must. There’s a lot going on in cyberspace and people tend to say things online they would never say to someone’s face, which creates a whole new set of problems that didn’t exist when you were in school.

Although it may seem they are maturing quicker with each generation, kids are still kids and teens have not yet developed the coping skills required to deal with stress, and therefore their responses to stress can be extreme. What starts out as test anxiety could turn into something much more serious.

Some kids become angry and act out their stress, while others internalize it; developing eating disorders, substance abuse problems or insomnia. Teens who have a chronic illness may find that the symptoms of their illness flare up under an overload of stress. Watch for the signs.

Keep the lines of communication with your kids open and make sure they participate regularly in activities that are fun and relaxing. After all, they are still kids.