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Do’s and Don’ts of Prom Night Sex

Will you or won't you? Consider these seven little rules.

My editor asked me to write a column about sex on prom night.

She told me it couldn’t be a column telling kids not to do it, but rather to list the Do’s and Don’ts if they’re gonna do it anyway.

I may be the worst person to have been asked to write this column.

“How are you going to write a column about sex on prom night?” my husband laughed. “You know where you stood when you were in high school. Totally anti-sex.”

He was right. It wasn’t so much that I was a prude or even saving myself for Prince Charming.

It was that I was afraid of getting pregnant. My mom had convinced me that as soon as I had sex, my belly would magically balloon with child. I had ambitions that didn’t include an unplanned pregnancy.

Teens like Bristol Palin, Jamie Lynn Spears and all of the stars on MTV’s Teen Mom prove my mom’s argument had substance.

On the other hand, she did tell me, when I was in high school, “If you do decide to have sex with your boyfriend, just promise me you will use protection.”

While it grossed me out to have my mom tell me to use protection if I have sex with my boyfriend, I appreciated the respect she gave me as an individual.

My mom was savvy back then in acknowledging that teens do face temptation every day. Shucks, just take a look at Brenda and Dylan in the original 90210.

And that’s why I think I may actually be the best person to write this column. I believe in our young women and men and their ability to make the right choice, particularly the right choice for them. That said, here are my Do’s and Don’ts of Sex on Prom Night:

1. Do Protect Yourself

Mom was right. If you are going to go all the way on prom night, do it as safely as possible. Don’t just arm yourself with birth control pills. Make sure to use a condom to protect yourself as much as possible from sexually transmitted diseases, such as herpes and hepatitis B. (Read a little about STDs and teens, too. It’s never a bad idea to be more educated.)

And be aware that condoms break. There are always consequences to every action. Is this a boy or girl you trust? It wouldn’t hurt both partners to get a clean bill of health from their physicians.

2. Don’t Expect to See Your Prom Date in Summer

I get it. He’s the guy of your dreams. She’s your fantasy girl.

In summer, it’s also just as likely that he or she will be a fond memory of high school.

Make sure this is the person you want to share this experience with without requiring it to be permanent.

In fact, I’ve got a few friends who broke up with their significant others right after prom.

Prom forces a lot of romance that wouldn’t normally occur. Prince Charming may actually be a toad after graduation.

3. Don’t Do Anything You Wouldn’t Want Tweeted

When I was in high school, most prom night sex talk was conjecture. “He said-she said” stuff was thrown around, but rarely substantiated.

These days, prom-night sex can be tweeted the very next morning, if not immediately after the deed.

If you don’t want to see your date’s status changed to “TOTALLY DID IT!” you may want to hold off.

4. Do Know Your Bodies are Changing – Thank Goodness!

In high school your bodies are rarely what they will become. Girls get curvier in college and guys get a little more muscle.

Most of us fantasize about sex with movie stars – no one is built that way in their teens. If you think Justin Beiber is cute but fantasize about Robert Pattinson in bed, you may want to hold off. Beiber’s body is pretty much what you get with a high school boy.

5. Don’t Expect This to Be the Best Sex of Your Life

He doesn’t know what he’s doing. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. There’s no way this is going to be awesome.

It will likely hurt. It will also very likely disappoint.

True intimacy is founded on love and care. While some were lucky enough to find The One in high school, many of us had to wait for college and beyond.

6. Don’t Make the Backseat of a Car Your First Time

No one owns their own pad in high school, which means the first time could very likely wind up being the backseat of a car or in someone’s parent’s house.

Think about this very hard before deciding to go all the way. Practice telling your future child about your first time. Do you want it to start with, “When Mommy was in high school, I liked this boy so much we had sex in his Toyota Corolla?”

Personally, I like this one better: “When I met your dad in college, we were very much in love. When we were ready to take our relationship to the next step, we made sure it was in the right place.”

7. Do Be Aware Your Relationship Will Never Be the Same

Sex is a big step.

HUGE.

For me, it was an intimate experience I’m happy to have only shared with the guy I married. I’m selfish that way.

Just know your prom date will see you in class, at graduation, in college or even at the mall, and he or she will know that you shared a very intimate moment. If you can deal with that, you’re likely a stronger soul than me.

No matter what you decide that night, please remember there’s one thing you must have for each other as well as preserve for yourselves: Respect. 

Jake Mahamood September 05, 2013 at 12:09 PM
This article is very very wrong. Parents need to be strong for thier children (they are still children) and be sure they do not engage in this type of behavior, Fathers, protect your daughters! I could not beleive what I was reading, these are children with thier whole lives ahead of them. Save your selves children, it only gets better!
Andrea Bearden-Kuhns September 21, 2013 at 04:02 PM
"I believe in our young women and men and their ability to make the right choice, particularly the right choice for them." REALLY? Have you been hiding under a rock? If this has been a sleazy tabloid, then this piece would have been appropriate. This is a 'hook-up, sexting culture' and any girl whose parent doesn't give her the facts on 'what boys really want' is doing their daughter a disservice. Morality over hormones always makes for a better future mate. Please keep Patch informative . . . this type of article will not attract new subscribers.
Ed Kravitz October 23, 2013 at 09:27 AM
A big taste of reality for many in denial. Some words of wisdom...Be Responsible For Your Actions. Don't take any actions you can't live with the consequences of. Value yourself and your dignity. Kids are going to have sex whether or not Patch Readers think it is appropriate or not. What some of these Patch readers may not realize is that there are actually young people in high school that also read the Patch. Many parents would rather not address the issue at all.....but having this discussion now may result in a few less unwanted children and ruined lives. I thought it was well written and thoughtful....and deals with Reality...NOT MAKE BELIEVE or the way we think it should be!
hwarray January 04, 2014 at 06:08 PM
Will be watching for the editor's column about drinking & driving on prom night. It wouldn’t be a column telling kids not to do it, but rather a list of Do’s and Don’ts if they’re gonna do it anyway. <sarcasm icon here>
Cole Robert April 17, 2014 at 12:16 AM
Very conservative/narrow minded comment board. There should be a new post about the 7 do's and don'ts of trusting your kids and letting them make decisions. If they make a mistake they will have to face the consequences

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